My Crazy Random Adventures In Sohma Land
by Okami-sama
Summary: updated! Better chapter! kind of ooc but oh well!
1. Chapter 1

**Os-** So it's like 1:44 here and i'm tired, but i'll make a new better chapter tomorrow

kkay?!

good

**Disclaimer-** dont own furuba, I own myself and my hair and my eyes and my breas- you get the point!

xD

* * *

One day I was just walking along in a forest I had just realized was there, minding my own business when I heard a squall going on through some trees.

"That's none of your business you damn rat!" said a familiar voice.

"We live in the same house you stupid cat, everything is my business." Said another familiar voice.

Were my ears deceiving me? Was that Yuki and Kyo? I was so confuzzled! I decided it was best to go and make sure I wasn't crazy. I walked through the thick pile of leaves and twigs and as soon as I walked through the opening I knew I was at Shigure's house… and that Kyo and Yuki were standing outside it arguing. Kyo was holding what looked like a giant book, Yuki was staring apathetically at Kyo as always, and Shigure was waving his arms around being spaztic.

"Oh for the love of god!" Shigure yelled at Kyo.

"That's Akito!" I said randomly. "Well actually it's Akita but who really pa-"

"Who the hell are you?" Kyo yelled at me.

"That's rude Kyon-Kyon! You shouldn't interrupt so much!" I yelled back.

I could see he didn't like the name I had just called him but who cares! It's not like he could do anything to me. Right?!

"Excuse me…but how do you know about Akito?" Shigure asked me.

I glared at him and growled "I know a lot about her."

Shigure gulped and side glanced at Yuki.

"Well I guess you haven't gotten to the part where he finds out but who cares!?" I asked shrugging my shoulders. He was bound to find out anyway.

"Akito…is…a…girl?" Yuki asked slowly, his eyes getting wide.

"Awwwww! You believe me! I feel so special." I stated happily, then skipped over to Yuki and poked his nose.

Kyo looked at me crazy-like too. Maybe because all this time him and Yuki were getting abused by a girl. But in Akita's defense…wait who the hell cares about Akito?

(a/n- -cough-Shigure-cough- xD)

I don't, and neither does the two of them.

"Sooooo Shii-sama, how's the new book goin'?" I asked Shigure curiously, walking over to him and smiling sweetly.

"Eh…fine thanks..?" he stated quickly before speed-walking back into the house.

I frowned, was I being that strange? Granted I did just walk on their property and start talking about their "god" but still! I crossed my arms and pouted. That's when I got an idea…

* * *

**Os-**

**Muhahahaha!**

**[x**

cliffie!

arent I so evil?

whatever, review on this && I promise i'll make it better!

n.n

guuudnighty!


	2. Happy pills?

**Os-** Okay! This is the second chapter to the random story.

This one is MUCH better than the first chapter because i'm rested.

enjoy!

and I promise to give you yaoi in the next chapter!

**Disclaimer-**Like the first time I dont own Furuba. I do own myself... I wont let you suffer!

xD

**The Happy Pill**

* * *

I was sitting at the table the next morning. Something happened to make them let me stay. Maybe because I was so totally awesome that they couldn't resist my total awesomeness…not! But anywhosits I was sitting there minding my own business, staring at the three men in front of me when all of the sudden who else but Ayame to walk through the door.

"OMFGOOGLE!" I yelled then ran over to him.

"W-what?" he asked me curiously. "And who are you?" he added after a couple of seconds.

"My name is nice to meet you!" (a/n muhahahahah) I said jumping up and down.

"Well it's very nice to meet you !" he said back. (a/n I'll tell you my name later!)

"I would say the same for you except I already know who you are!" I said "-cough-andwrotealmostexplicetsexscenesbetweenyouandyourtwomabudachis-cough- but who really pays attention!" I added sheepishly.

Now being Ayame, he understood every word I had just jumbled together. He stared at me for a second before his eye twitched.

"Y-you…did WHAT?!" he exclaimed, now right over me. (a/n well he's tall right..? xD)

"Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…gotta go!" I said then ran out the door and into the woods again. Before I got out of hearing range I heard Shigure ask Ayame

"What did she say Aya?"

I just giggled before hiding behind some bushes. Taking out Ayame's cell phone, that I stole…because I could, I found and dialed Hatori's number.

"Hello…" I heard him say, then sigh, exasperated. Damn, he probably has caller id! I thought, and then went on with my plan.

"Hello! Is your refrigerator running? Well you better go catch it!" I giggled.

"What?" he asked, I could picture his face, his eyebrows furrowing and his li- "Who is this?"

Damn. "Your….mommy!"

"I'll ask you one more time…who is this?" he asked, loosing his temper.

"I told you your mommy! Now off to bed with you Dr. Seahorse!"

_Click._

"That was fun!" I said to myself.

"What the hell was that for?" I heard Kyo ask from the bush next to me.

"Spying are we Kyon-Kyon? That's not very nice!" I said, crossing my arms and shaking my head slowly.

"Like I care!" He said then got up and walked back to the house. I followed silently, thinking up my next idea.

That night at dinner I was ready. Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, Shigure, and Ayame were siting at the table chatting. Well everyone but Yuki was chatting. I grinned and took the opportunity. Slowly, without him noticing, I slipped a pill into Yuki's drink. Then sat back and waited for the show to begin. I watched as Yuki picked up the glass and bring it to his perfectly shaped lips, take a swig, then set it down. I laughed quietly; this was going to get good! After his next bite of food he put his hand to his head and made a face. Ayame noticed this and went all fake-I-wanna-get-you-to-love-and-forgive-me mode.

"My dearest brother! What is wrong, are you feeling ill? Maybe I should give Tori-san a call!" he said reaching for where his cell had been before I stole it.

"Oh no! Please Yuki forgive me for I ha-"

Yuki cut his Nii-san off with a round of laughter. I made sure it was only for a while; I wouldn't want my dearest Yuki to suffocate and die!

Kyo was staring at Yuki from the other side of Tohru and I decided this was my next opportunity.

"Kyo! Look it's…someone famous that you like!" I yelled, he just stared at me with a "stfu" face on.

I sighed and just decided to jump on him. He yelled for a while…until I forced Yuki's drink down his throat. He choked for a second before taking off in a fit of laughter just like Yuki.

"Gooooooooooood boys!" I cooed looking around the table. Shigure, Ayame, and Tohru were all looking at me with strange expressions.

"Well I thought you'd want to see them being forced to laugh!" I said happily, shrugging my shoulders. After a minute or two they did the same and went one with their conversations while I stared at the two boys rolling on the floor. This is the life! I thought, leaning back onto my elbows.

* * *

yeah,

so I thought this one was better!

More words anyway.

Review please and i'll tell you my name...

and give you yaoi...

cause i'm dying for some!

xD


	3. My poor virgin eyes

**Os-** first of all I wanna say...

OMFGOOGLE!

xD

ok, sorry my lovely Smoothie-chan, I was very sidetracked by cheesepuffys!

mmmmmmm...

cheesepuffys!

xD;

**Disclaimer- I dont own Furuba..blah blah blah...**

**...yo!**

* * *

It had been almost an hour since I slipped the happy pill into Yuki's drink. Hatori had come to make sure Yuki wasn't dieing… and that's it. Yuki was practically crying and Kyo was still laughing. Who knew that pill cold affect the neko so much? I walked up the stairs after putting my plate in the sink and found Shigure and Hatori outside the bathroom talking. They had said they were going somewhere with Ayame that night so I was thinking it was him in the bathroom. For the third time in a day and a half I got an idea.

"Hello guys!" I said, walking happily up to the two.

"Hello…" they stated simultaneously, then returned to their conversation.

I giggled then made Shigure look at me again.

"Which do you prefer: Lemon or Lime?" I asked, liking where that question would lead to in my fantasy world.

"Le-lemon?" Hatori asked me, his eyebrows knitting together.

"What are you talking about Alex-san?"(a/n my name! yes it's ugly, so stfu! XDD) Shigure asked me curiously. I was surprised he didn't know. With all his writing experience and all. –cough-withporn-cough-

"I mean what do you like better: Lemon or lime? Golly G you people are as slow as my aunt when she eats too much bread!" I rambled.

"I guess Lemon…" Hatori stated apathetically, shrugging his shoulders.

I grinned at him and said: "I hoped you would!"

* * *

Two minutes later I was locking Hatori, Shigure, and Ayame in the room…with me.

"Have fun! NOW!" I ordered, looking at the three of them sitting together on Shigure's bed. They were glaring at me, well ok, Hatori was glaring at me. Shigure and Ayame were bouncing up and down, but that's not the point! The point is I was going to see, hear, and…(no other sense is appropriate for this sentence) yaoi in action!

"I want to Ha'ri, let us!" Ayame said, still bouncing.

"Yeah, me too!" Shigure agreed.

"Ohoh me too!" I yelled out randomly, which made all three of them look at me strangely.

"For the love of donkeys! You people take things wayyyyyy too seriously!" I said throwing my hands in the air and walking to the door.

"I'll be right back…don't go anywhere…as if you could!" I muttered, laughing evilly.

I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, pulling out the _thing_ I bought at the store for this little experiment, I unwrapped it and walked back up the stairs. When I walked back into the room Hatori and Ayame were having a heated argument. Something about mommies and seahorses. I laughed quietly to myself then walked over to where Shigure was and handed him the _thing_.

"What am I susposed to do with this?" he asked, holding it up.

"'Gure-san don't be so dense, you stick it in-"

"Ayame, what are you doi-"

"What does it look like I'm doing? It looks rather delicious so I'm just going to put it in my mou-"

"Don't be such a selfish person! Share, share!"

I stood in the corner staring at the scene in front of me. This was crazy…or so I thought because right then Hatori stuck the _thing _in his mouth and started chewing. Ayame and Shigure stared at him for a moment before jumping on top of him and tried to steal the _thing_ from his mouth. Just like I planned, I thought evilly then sat down.

"Haaaaaaa'riiiiiiii!" Ayame whined, tugging on the _thing_ with all his might.

"Isssssssh myneeeee!" Hatori slurred, trying to get away from the two _thing_ stealers.

Don't make us rape you Tori-san!" Shigure threatened, straddling him. Ayame joined in the straddle and smiled.

"Yeah! Don't make us!" He agreed, finally letting go of the _thing_.

All that was going through my mind was "Imma witness raaaaape, imma witness raaaaape!" I was one happy camper. All of the sudden, Shigure started kissing Hatori with force. Her pulled back with a little piece of the _thing _in his mouth, then started chewing on it. I ran and hid I the closet. Something told me my virgin eyes wouldn't be able to handle what was about to happen.

**

* * *

**

2 hours later 

My eyes were going to bleed any second. They were _**still**_ going at it, well I guess three people means 3 times the sex action but still…I totally loved it. Every now and then you'd hear moaning and grunting, from a different person each time. I was even starting to think like a pervert. The _thing _was long discarded, and I was very happy that my plan had worked. I found that someone had just climaxed and I shook my head. I really was going to be scared for life after this. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, hoping they would be done soon.

**

* * *

**

1 day later 

…

**Jkjk!**

**XD**

I was free! They finally got tired and crashed, so I snuck out and went into the room I was staying in. Kyo and Yuki walked in with wide eyes.

"What has happened for the past fe-"

"Don't be stupid, stupid! Didn't you hear!"

"Shut up! I wasn't asking you!"

"Well maybe you should have, you could learn something."

"Guys! It was all the _thing_'s fault! Blame it!" I yelled, shrugging my shoulders after.

"The _thing_?" Yuki asked. I smiled at him and Kyo before saying,

"Well, chocolate is an aphrodisiac!"

* * *

**Os-** for all you "slow special"(thats me! xD) people out there, the _thing _

is a chocolate bar.

I was thinking about food (and cheese) so I couldnt think of anything overly sexual for all you little pervs.

REPRESENT!

xD

joking joking (n.n)

review?

yes...

NOW

ily

n.n;


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